


Beyond Repair

by Imagined



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not Happy, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sad Ending, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 20:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13256235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagined/pseuds/Imagined
Summary: ‘’We’re more than acquaintances, Tony,’’ Steve moves closer, hardly believing what he is hearing. ‘’We used to be friends. I was thinking – well, I was actually thinking we were going somewhere beyond that.’’Tony almost presses himself against the wall at this point, and there’s a look on his face that Steve doesn’t recognize – it’s some kind of balance between fear, anger, and determination. It’s a look that Steve never would have thought would be directed at him.Sometimes, things are broken beyond repair, no matter how much you might wish it wasn't. Steve learns this the hard way.





	Beyond Repair

**Author's Note:**

> This is not Steve friendly, though I don't think I'm bashing him too hard. I wrote this in about 2 hours (when I had like ten other things to do than writing this) because I have too many Tony feels on a daily basis.

Steve has always assumed.

He likes to think that he is doing a good thing. That he stands by his friends, that he is true to his morals. That he is a good person, even if not everyone will agree with him. The last is evidenced by Tony, who fought him.

Steve can’t help but think he is right, after all this time. He’s looked at it over and over again. He simply couldn’t hand over reign of the Avengers to someone who may stop them from doing good, and he doesn’t understand why Tony does not understand the danger of it.

But Tony doesn’t, so Steve is still in hiding with the fragments of a team that once was a family.

~*~

It is like that for a long time. Steve waits for Tony’s call, but it doesn’t come. He waits for months, and months, staring at the phone. Sam calls him out on it, and Clint shakes his head at him, but Steve is patient. He can wait for Tony to come around. And after Tony calls, Steve will explain to him. 

But when Tony finally calls, it’s not to say sorry.

When the phone rings, Steve almost doesn’t dare to pick up, but he does.

‘’Tony,’’ he says, trying to sound neutral, but feeling giddy. ‘’I was starting to think you wouldn’t call.’’

‘’I wouldn’t have,’’ he hears Tony say, briskly. ‘’Your letter was shit, but you said that if I needed you, you would come. So I am asking you to come.’’

‘’You need me?’’ Steve asks. He is confused by Tony’s tone, but can almost ignore it because finally, Tony called. Finally Steve can make the move he wanted to make just before everything went wrong. 

He hears Tony sigh. ‘’I need the team. Everyone. Something big is coming. We can’t stop it by ourselves. This is the threat I warned everyone about.’’

‘’What are you talking about?’’ Steve asks.

‘’Suit up, Rogers.’’ 

~*~

Steve comes and brings everyone with him. The threat is big, indeed, but they fight it together. There’s a lot more people than only the Avengers, but Steve only meets them briefly. There is no time to create friendships – or rebuild them. But after this, Steve thinks, desperately hoping there will be an after, he will talk with Tony again. Take the plunge. 

There’s a team called the Guardians of the Galaxy, and they are a real help. Then there’s Thor with his new team, and Bruce. Steve is not sure how to feel about trusting Loki, but Thor seems to trust him with this, and he doesn’t pull anything. Steve doesn’t manage to spend much time with Tony, but trusts that it will come eventually.

Victory comes at a cost. There are a lot of casualties, civilians and superheroes alike. Steve has to fight more viciously than he ever has before, and he still loses people. Friends. 

And Tony almost dies, in another self-sacrificing manoeuvre. Steve wonders if it is selfish of him to be so very glad that Tony survives, while others haven’t managed the same. He needs to talk to Tony again, outside of a combat situation. One talk, and everything will be set straight. Of course nothing will be as easy as it used to be, but maybe they can learn from this. Maybe they can stand together now.

~*~

‘’Tony,’’ Steve says, heart bouncing in his chest. His fingers rest lightly on Tony’s shoulder as he says his name, but Tony turns himself so Steve no longer touches him.

‘’Steve,’’ Tony says, and he winces for some reason, his hand caressing his left arm mindlessly. Steve looks at it for a moment, before focusing on Tony’s eyes again.

‘’I’d hoped we could talk,’’ Steve admits, taking a step toward Tony. Tony takes a step back, looking over his shoulder hastily.

‘’Well, actually, no. I think we’ve said enough to each other.’’

Steve blinks. ‘’We’ve hardly talked after what happened.’’

Tony bites his lip, and turns his gaze up to meet Steve’s, still holding his left arm. ‘’We don’t need to. We’re acquaintances at this point. We have a shared interest in protecting this world. That’s it. That’s all it is ever going to be. Some things get broken beyond repair, and this is one of them.’’

‘’We’re more than acquaintances, Tony,’’ Steve moves closer, hardly believing what he is hearing. ‘’We used to be friends. I was thinking – well, I was actually thinking we were going somewhere beyond that.’’

Tony almost presses himself against the wall at this point, and there’s a look on his face that Steve doesn’t recognize – it’s some kind of balance between fear, anger, and determination. It’s a look that Steve never would have thought would be directed at him.

‘’You lied to me, Steve,’’ Tony says, and his voice is heartbreakingly soft, as if he’s explaining this to a child. ‘’You fought me. You chose someone else over me. You left me for dead in the cold after nearly killing me. You abandoned me. And then you waited for me to tell you that you were right and that I was sorry. And I get it, we both made mistakes. Okay? Sorry. Here, I said it. But don’t come to me, begging to go back to where we started. No, not even that, because the start sucked as well. Don’t come to me and ask me to be your friend, to be _more_ , when you didn’t even have the decency to be the same to me.’’

Tony turns, and walks away.

~*~

Rebuilding the world is tough, after the attack Earth barely survived. Steve knew this, though, and he has the patience to rebuild it.

The Avengers are even harder to rebuild, and that is something that Steve did not expect. 

Some of them, they bury. Some of them leave – permanently. Others leave, but aren’t sure for how long. A few heroes join their ranks. Some of them stay, but aren’t sure they should. One of these is Steve.

He meant it, when he said the Avengers were more Tony’s family than his own. He’s seen with his own two eyes how Tony thrived when spending time with their own superhero family. 

But now he starts to see how Tony clutches at his arm, when Bucky or Steve come near. How he becomes more silent, his jokes more forced, when the room is too crowded. How he leaves the moment people don’t notice him anymore. How the only people Tony seems comfortable with nowadays are the ones that weren’t part of the Avengers, during their Civil War.

And Steve feels more lonely than ever, knowing he drove Tony away.

~*~

‘’Uh, Captain America? Sir?’’ For a moment Steve doesn’t know who’s talking to him, but there’s a teen standing behind him, then, in the kitchen of the Avengers Compound. Steve doesn’t feel as at home as he used to.

He hasn’t seen the kid a lot without his mask, but he does recognize him. The young teenager Tony recruited, Peter Parker. Steve still isn’t sure that was one of Tony’s brightest ideas.

‘’Peter,’’ he says, standing upright. ‘’How can I help you?’’

The teenager looks away. ‘’I, um, just wanted to make sure we were alright. Because, like, earlier, when we first met and stuff, I stole your shield and all. And I never really got to talk to you after that. I’m, uh, kind of sorry about stealing your shield. But not really. But still, I wanted to make sure –‘’

‘’It’s alright, kid,’’ he cuts in. ‘’We all did what we thought we had to do. Though it wasn’t really your battle.’’

Peter smiles awkwardly. ‘’Well, it kind of was,’’ he says. 

‘’Tony shouldn’t have had to drag you into it,’’ Steve answers.

‘’Should have, no. But I’m glad he did. He’s really helping me become better.’’

‘’You’re a kid,’’ Steve says to him. ‘’You don’t have to be anything yet.’’

Peter glances up, eyebrows wrinkled. ‘’But I _want_ to help,’’ he points out. ‘’I would be doing what I do anyway. Mr Stark just helps me helping other people. Safer for everyone, right? I mean… well, that’s just it. Anyway, I’m glad there’s no hard feelings.’’

As the teenager leaves, Steve thinks that maybe he’s miscalculated Tony Stark once again.

~*~

‘’Tony!’’ Steve yells when he sees the man walking down the hall. He ignores the way Tony ducks into himself before giving him a fake smile, putting on his sunglasses even though they’re inside. 

‘’Captain,’’ Tony greets him coolly. His left arm trembles.

‘’I just wanted to say that I’m sorry too,’’ Steve says. ‘’I see now that I wasn’t treating you right. And I’m sorry that everything happened this way. We don’t agree on everything, but no one does that. I know that I made a lot of mistakes, too. You tried to compromise, and I didn’t agree, and it turned ugly. And it would have been better if I had listened to you. I miss you, Tony.’’

‘’Thank you for the apology,’’ Tony says. His voice betrays no emotion, but Steve has the feeling has only made things worse, for some reason. That it would have been easier for Tony if Steve had never apologized.

‘’Can you give me another chance? As friends, at least?’’ Steve asks, making sure he gives Tony the space. ‘’You don’t have to say yes. I don’t expect you to. I can leave, if you want me to. But you just have to know that I won’t want to.’’

Tony sighs, moving his right hand from his left arm to his head. Steve realizes that maybe it’s Tony who has been most affected by everything that’s happened, so far. ‘’I don’t know, Steve,’’ Tony says wearily. ‘’I don’t know if I’ll ever want that. Did you know I am retiring as Iron Man?’’

It’s as if someone has dumped a bucket of ice over Steve’s head. ‘’Why?’’ he asks, uncertain.

Tony shrugs. ‘’Lots of reasons,’’ he says. ‘’But I won’t be here anymore.’’

‘’Even if you’re a non-active member, you’ll always be Iron Man. You don’t have to leave, Tony.’’

There’s a wry smile playing on Tony’s lips, but at least it’s more sincere than the first one he gave Steve. ‘’I don’t have to, but I think I want to. Or need to, maybe. Things aren’t the same, Steve. Maybe it’s time to accept that.’’

He gives Steve an undecipherable look, and walks away.


End file.
